Saturday, December 13, 2008
Its been a week, the war is still on. I shall not give in, I shall stand firm, I shall not abide her ridiculous, unreasonable demands. But... I am tired, I am filled up with frustration, sadness and tears. I have been holding back for a whole week, but ultimately it still fell...
I told Hubby I feel trapped, unhappy but yet can't do anything. Anything I do will make it become a extreme situation.
Listening to her will mean:
- Giving up of this 6.5yrs relationship, losing my happiness & future with him
- Giving her most/all of every cent I earn
- Giving in and listening to all her future demands
Rebelling against her will mean:
- Leaving this place that was never home to me
- As good as severing ties with this family
- Nonsense, trouble etc brought upon to me, him and maybe even his family
I need someone to talk to, to let me cry, to comfort me and tell me everything's gonna be ok though its not gonna be. I need someone to assure me that I'll do fine, tt I'm being right by staying firm, tt I should fight till the end for my own happiness which she doesn't care about.
I know Hubby says he and my frens will always be my side and support me. But not seeing him for a few days without his hug and warmth, fighting this war has become so tiresome and lonely. I know he's still sleeping but I feel so down when he hasn't replied to my msn msgs yet. Not wanting to disturb his sleep knowing he doesn't have enough of it, yet wanting his attention.
So contradicting of me... Please... Someone pull me out of this, end all this for me, let me just hide and cry for once... I am tired of being strong, sick of being strong, sick of pretending to smile like I'm doing fine. It hurts, its painful and I don't know how long I can do it...
Help me please..... Brenbren at 12:09 PM
