Saturday, June 21, 2008
She's driving me and everyone at home crazy. She nags and scolds 50% of the time, she repeats the same thing again and again at least 3 times to each of us, which means I have to hear the repeat at least 8 times, 2/3 in Mandarin and 1/3 in Hokkien. She complains about everything, anything and anyone.
Everyone is always at fault and never her. Anything damaged, broken, untidy is always our doing, never hers. She is free to do anything at her liking and timing, the rest of the world have to accommodate to her and listen to her. She controls what time you go out, where you go, what you do, who you go with and what time you're back. Disobey her? The shouting, scoldings, sarcastic remarks and insults start coming and will be repeated for at least 3-4 days. Either that or a cold war.
She decides what you should wear and buy that is easy for her to wash. She's obsessed with cleanliness and doesn't care that your bag that cost hundreds must not be washed. Your pink glittery Guess bag becomes a old pale dirty pink after repeated washings and the diamantes drop off one by one. Your black Guess wallet becomes gray and the metal buckle turns rusty. Your shoes fall apart and when it rains, soapy bubbles appear and you have to try your best not to slip and drag your feet.
You are not allowed to use any perfumes or products with fragrance because she hates the smell and claims that it makes her feel like puking. You cannot put on makeup at your dressing table. Anything that has been used/touched must be wash/wiped/cleaned. Her best pals? Detergent, washing powder and towels. Almost everything and anything except food (but then again who knows?) is to be washed/wiped/cleaned with detergent to be considered as clean.
She objects to your r/s because your bf is not rich, exceptionally good looking, tall, is of mixed blood, is a Christian, is not very tall, is 3yrs older than me, born in the year of goat and cannot understand why we are still together till this day. Yet... She always turns to him when she needs help to run errands, bring her bloody bf to all his doc appts etc. She hopes that you will not get married, eventually breakup and stay by her side forever. She says that you will not have a happy marriage, will regret and get divorced because she is always right.
She feels you give her too little money and you're the only who's working. She feels you have an easy life/work because you're in an air-conditioned office the whole day while she's sweating out the whole day at home cleaning the entire house.But has she considered that I work in a stressful/fast-pace industry and work almost 12-13hrs everyday? That I am on 24/7 standby, my phone rings anytime of the day and my weekend can be burned if something crops up? She says you're always out of the house either working or going out, but who can stand staying in this madhouse the whole day? You can't go for a holiday because she doesn't like it, its unsafe and she has lots of clothes to wash after you're back.
I can't wait for Oct to come... For the HDB 4-room flat launch, for us to get a flat asap, for us to get ROM, married and stay together and get out of here. I need a break and my freedom, a chance to breathe and fly away...
Its contradicting... I do love her dearly, she was the one who brought me up and gave me and education but never fails to remind me of it. But sometimes, she can turn my love for her into such deep hatred that I shouldn't have.
Enough is enough... I need my peace, my break and a chance to breathe...
Brenbren at 1:11 AM
