Saturday, April 01, 2006
Life sucks, work sucks and some ppls sucks... Arghz, how long am I gog to continue with this sickening life? 3rd time in this week I'm working till 10pm and I'm really hating it. Am really damn pissed off with many things and my work.
Somehow there's just lots of disruptions that make me have to put down whatever I'm doing at the moment and settle those things. By the time I'm done with these "obstructions", its knock off time and I gotta stay back and do those stuff. Damn, whole day gone again just like tt.
Today is one of the worst days in this week, not that the other days are any better. I got so pissed off with some customers/agents and those things made me spent so much on it trying to settle/resolve the issues. When finally all was settled and I could finally do my things, it was already half an hour past my knock off time.
Not only I had to stay back to finish up, I missed the chance to meet up with him too. I felt so stressed up and frustrated that I really couldn't hold back my tears anymore and had to go to the toilet to cry quietly for a while. I felt like I have totally no life after work and day after day I'm slogging my guts out. And when I got home and could finally take my dinner, what "welcomed" me? My mum's insane and continuous nagging/scoldings. I was feeling bad and down enuff, why must she still rub salt into the wound?
Scolding me that why I work so hard and long for co., u think you're gonna get promoted, urgent so what, leave to tmr etc n etc... What does she know and understand? What does she care? Who wants to work till so late? I'm tired enuff and for goodness sake its a Friday and this Sat si finally my day off. Can't she just give me some peace? Can't she just get off my back and just leave me alone? Noone understands, or maybe noone cares at all in my family. All my mum cares abt is whether I'm home on time, not becos she's worried, but becos I dun "disrupt: her daily household chores routine. All she cares abt is how much I give her each mth, it can be early or punctual but nvr late, can increase n nvr decrease.
All she cares abt is herself and my sis, I'm like an outcast in this family, why? Maybe becos I'm the only "normal" person in this family? Becos I'm the only one who at least has a diploma and working? Its bad enuff that e 2 of them can sleep n rest in comfort while I'm slogging at work and yet I gotta tolerate and give in to them. I have no status at all in this family, noone seems to care. All they want from me are advantages to them, that's all.
I am so sick, so exhuasted, so depressed, so frustrated, so helpless that I feel like gog into a deep sleep and nvr wake up again. Perhaps I'll be happier that way. Perhaps they'll be happier too. Perhaps noone might even notice the day I'm gone. Perhaps I'm just a insignificant nobody in this world.
For now, I just wanna be lost in my own world, to rest, to slow down, to go away slowly....
Brenbren at 1:21 AM
