Saturday, July 30, 2005
Took a look at my frens' profile in Friendster and saw that some of them had got married. Felt really happy for them that they have someone whom they can spend the rest of their lives with. Of cos, I feel really envious.
I'm happy mostly in the r/s though there are times I feel like giving up all and just walk away. Somehow, my eyes are kindda brimming with tears at the same time I'm writing this. I wish that someday, I can really settle down. But I know its still a long and far journey, even then I might not be able to fulfill my dreams and wishes. I don't know how many more years I can still wait cos I'm feeling really tired. I feel like I have come to a stop and everything is not progressing the way I want/planned to be. Maybe its time to give up, maybe its time to wake up, maybe its time to say goodbye.
Maybe, I'll wait just a little while longer, just a little more time. If things show no progression, I really wanna give it all up before it hurts anyone further. I really hope I still have the courage, determination and stubborness I used to have to carry on. And I guess, I really need a lot of encouragement and help before I can carry on further...
Brenbren at 12:45 AM
